In 1998,I was going through a terribly depressing time while working at the emergency department at the National Guard Hospital in Jeddah,Saudi Arabia.The weather was scorching hot,even the air-conditioning in the apartment was blowing warm air.It was becoming increasingly unbearable and my restlessness was escalating.It came to a point where I went through a crisis that could have caused me to lose my sanity! I could not sleep for one whole week,not a wink!Each time I tried to lay down in bed, I was so tormented that I had to get up…this went on day and night for seven straight days.I still had to function the 12-hour shift at the emergency department despite the sleep deprivation.
I tried every remedy,sleeping pills,teas,etc.still no sleep came.Maggie, my flatmate was concerned,she suggested,I go see the emergency doctor for an injection to help sleep.So I went after 7 nights and days without sleep,almost at the tip of a breakdown.Before I could see the doctor, the emergency room Head nurse saw me and asked what I was doing at the department.She called me in to her office and told me that the management were happy with me and that there was a possibility of making me clinical nurse instructor of ER.That even frightened me further.I told her that I was not happy and wanted to hand in my resignation,giving one month’s notice.She seemed offended and asked that I leave with immediate effect,so I did!
After going around the hospital getting signatures from various departments in order to get my passport and salary released to buy a ticket back home to Vancouver.After completing all the necessary arrangements for resignation,I went back to the apartment….dead tired,in extreme exhaustion,mentally,emotionally,physically and psychologically depleted of any more energy to function,I fell down immediately to sleep but with a sense of relief of the decision made to leave Saudi with immediate effect.Not long after falling into a deep sleep,I was awakened by a voice clearly calling out my name “Celeste” three times.It sounded so close like as though someone was calling directly into my ear! I woke up immediately to see who it was waking me up! I actually got up and walked round the huge apartment from corner to corner searching for that voice!From that moment,I knew I had to come home to face the unknown and that my life will change radically! A short few days later,I was on the plane,crying all the way on that long flight back home.Underneath all that feeling of distraught was a sense of seeming joy awaiting my arrival Home.
A New Beginning was being prepared as I had to wake up for the fearless journey of Inner Revolution into myself….to listen,to pay loving attention and witness the True Light beckoning from Within!There was no more fighting against Life….I had began learning from what Life wanted to teach and open out for me!
http://www.celestehoedenauthor.com
author of the book To Resurrect the True Self
the compassionate experience 