Whatever we need to feel in this moment,we allow ourselves to feel.Let the pain,grief, hurt,disappointments,loss,betrayals and joys open the path into the Heart and break open its door.Let yourself be not afraid of opening into the heart,for it is wise and knows how to fully feel its capacity and work its way to healing.When we fear to break the Heart,we block the True path to God(Love).
Whereas when we depend on the continuous troubled state of the mind,it finds ways only to escape the afflictions thus prolonging pain and suffering, trapping us in clinging and hankering for happy, pleasureable and false enticements.
No matter what we may think,feel or believe ourselves to be,we are Pure energy of Love and Consciousness,incapable of deliberate injurious intentions! And while we travel along the journey of life,it is a purpose to find our way into the Heart to witness,be and live that Truth of who we are and so make the world around us a brighter place to be in for ourselves and all those we associate with.
Can we truly reflect on this…..if we do not have love,joy and kindness to offer of ourselves…who or what are we?
When we have recognized the Divinity within ourselves,we can truly recognize another.We bow in respect and understanding of ourselves and to the beggar,the thief,the priest and the politician all the same.There is no enemy,who are we ‘fighting’against,who are we judging about,who are we condenming upon,why are we creating divisiveness about my colour and your colour, my religion and your religion,this politician and that priest,this gay or that straight person,this prostitute or that saint?We are all but One in our Divine nature of Love,Compassion, Wisdom and Pure Awareness.And when we look through the eyes of compassion and awareness,we act only with kindness and understanding for each other.
Some of us may have come across many times in our lives to hear of the words ‘spiritual journey’ and others may have no clue or have no regard of these words and what it means.To some it could conjure a frightening sense of it to be all a supernatural type of thing not for the faint -hearted or perhaps religious practices meant for extraordinary people or even ascertained as sanctimonious pursuits to reach a goal of ‘holiness’.So therefore we shun and disregard the word spiritual altogether.
As long as some of us might belong/practice or belief in a religious tradition or the some of us who are not affliated to any one religious tradition….we carry on with our daily lives as per usual forgetting who we truly are!
The spiritual journey is but a simple,direct, authentic process without a goal or pursuit of any kind of state or title.We can change the word journey to become adventure,thus call it ‘spiritual-adventure’.It is a True Love story,a love affair with ourselves,for ourselves to be of benefit to everyone,yes, even to those who cause harm and dislike us!We see ourselves as a noble,courageous and benevolent knight battling compassionately to release the imprisoned self from ‘demons'(the pain and suffering of fears, hatred,anger,greed, selfishness,jealousies,resentments,guilt, unhealthy habitual traits,and afflicted states,cravings/desires,attachment,etc.)The knight is seen bravely and lovingly removing toxic energies blocking the path into the knowing/witnessing of who we truly are…The True Self,we can call it ‘God/Godliness’ as in the attributes of Pure Awareness,Love(compassion), Wisdom and child-like innocent/simplistic Joy(our original state of being).
When the knight devotedly, valiantly and nobly enters the battlefield to truly,sincerely fight for the cause of Love,Peace and Kindness,the war is won and the True Self is revealed and joyously benefited by all who are wise to discern its Truth.When the battle is ‘won’,the warrior has found Freedom from unnecessary/wasteful suffering and True love(compassion),kindness and peace,the Heart is open,never to be shut again.
Does our ‘happiness’ depend on others and external circumstances?
When we experience any kind of loss,despair and disappointments….we grieve,we feel the aching of the heart, anger arises,we hurt,we mourn and perhaps torment others and ourselves further.The sadness looms indefinitely!
—Do we want it to last forever?
—Will it last forever?
When we experience happiness,we laugh,we feel ‘high and frivolous’,we feel ecstatic,we celebrate,we smile and perhaps wastefully treat others.
—Can it last forever?
—Will it last forever?
When the mind is busy nattering and chattering with non-stop worries,fabricating stories of past remembraces and drifting with anxiety over future endeavours.
—Do we want it to last forever?Do we want ways of peace?
—Will it last forever?
When we witness suffering within us, around us and to those close and dear to us.
—Do we want it to last forever?
—Will it last forever?
Will we want only to be an island of selfish happiness surrounded by an ocean of misery?Or can and will we make a change and be a lighthouse of Love, Wisdom, Joy and Kindness to share with others and be a source of comfort,strength,courage and hope?
Most of us have heard this saying…’ignorance is bliss’.It can also mean to be oblivious to be open to the Truth.We tend to be afraid of knowing what is true,the truth that we keep hidden within the recesses of our being,we can call this our ‘dark secrets’.Playing ignorant and pretentious of our lives,this help protect our ‘cushy’lifestyle and keep us safe in our comfort-zones,of people and things and situations we are used to surrounding ourselves with.Most often,these comfort-zones that we hoard no longer serve us meaningfully or give us purposeful living,yet we go on wasting energy pretending to enjoy and be seemingly happy with our lives on the surface.In truth, the undercurrent within us is in turmoil and disturbed.
We need answers,we need comfort,we need knowledge,a direction,a guidance to the truth of our purpose in Life.Yet we dismiss and ignore the very very quiet nudging that beckons us to take stock,to halt and listen,to pay attention,to relax and care for our true needs.We are in truth succumbing to the fear of losses, rejection,more pain and enduring suffering,of changes,of being ridiculed and taunted and of the mysterious Unknown!And there is also the fact and difficult task of ‘how to begin and what to do!’
I faced these dilemmas most of my adult life, knowing quietly that I was intensely suffering,yet not knowing how to deal with it,what to do with the truth of my suffering.The more I struggled with suffering,the more it seemed to follow me and caused me more anger and hatred of myself.I was in fact truly ignorantly looking for love,to be loved and to love!I didn’t realize at the time that Love was already within me and this separation and ignorance caused so more much pain and suffering.How did I begin the waking up to truth?I had to acknowledge and admit firstly that I was indeed suffering and trying hard to suppress its gravity and being dangerous to myself and others.Here being dangerous means that as we unconsciously suffer needlessly,we impose our pain upon others either unknowingly or deliberately to cause suffering in ways of worries, anxieties and distress or even by drastic measures in ways of violence,mental,emotional,sexual abuses and insanity.I had to sincerely surrender the ignorance and seek the help needed to be freed from pain and suffering. I went fervently on a daily basis to sit in reflection of my life in a quiet church and pour my heartaches and foolishness into the unknown.And as I sat, I realized I was delving deeply into my being,witnessing the truth of myself.This endeavour became the start of meditation practices…a true Love affair with myself.This sublime process drew me deeper into myself,seeing all my imperfections, flaws,mistakes,hidden ‘dark secrets’as well as goodness.Instead of judging and churning negative criticism of myself……I started opening up to compassion and forgiveness of myself.Tears flowed profusely in remorse and shame and of knee high buried guilt.All I could do was embrace myself in totality of the truth,freeing/releasing myself of denials and holding on to toxic afflicted energies.
As I meditated,I loved myself for the courage and the truth that I was able to face.And this truth in return sets us all free from unnecessary/wasteful suffering.
I saw a posting which says…”I just want to Love myself…again”. And what a true,honest and wise declaration and acknowledgment.And this is a silent unconscious aspiration of all beings.This wish to love oneself can come in the form of a longing to be loved,to want to love someone(sometimes obsessively),hankering for happiness and satisfaction in life,searching for something unknown,a feeling of empty,meaningless existence,the joylessness of depression,jealousy and selfishness.Even a deep sense of joyous delight and pleasure can evoke a desire of wanting to love oneself.
We often hear words telling us to pray, love,to forgive, to do good, to be kind,to be happy, to be nice and pleasing,to not hurt,to not worry,to not think too much,to be happy.Then we tell ourselves,we already love,we are happy,we don’t care what others are doing, we are not doing anything bad,we are nice and please others too much,we are the ones who are hurt,we say that we are not thinking too much or worrying,etc.In other words we play victim of denial,defence and demand/expecting love from external sources.The ‘call’to come home into the core of our being is happening every moment of our lives,non-stop!
How are we to hear its still,quiet voice when we are busy looking externally for love,craving attention(to be liked and to feel significant) and being seduced by a myriad of worldly attractions in all sorts of forms/ways.The world tells us to be kept busy with muti-tasking.We are disturbed by people and situations and get caught playing ignorant games of the mind.We become identified with running constant negative commentaries in the already tired mind.So we believe whatever the busy and negative mind is chattering/nattering to us…and it mostly makes us feel bad/harsh of ourselves.The mind keeps us outside of ourselves,it prevents the entry Within the self into the Heart(home is where the heart is,where love lives).
On the other hand when we practice and learn to tame,calm and quiet the mind,it becomes our guide and provides the ‘ladder’down into the Heart(True Self)…..where we will be empowered, embraced and engulfed with Joy,Wisdom and Compassion,thus we come to know/meet Love(God) and will love ourselves/others unconditionally.The unconscious ‘war’ within the self is ended,Truth is revealed…….we come to the True state of Conscious Living!Are we willing and courageous to sit by ourselves,to face whatever Truth about ourselves(guilts,shames,fears and flaws,goodness and kindness,etc.)in order to let it all go and Be who we already are….Love itself!
When the mind is silenced,the Heart speaks!
When we are overwhelmed by disturbing strong affictive emotions such as jealousy,fearfulness,anger,hatred and addictive instigation,we can always practice the mindfulness to pause and be honest,to ponder and take a look deeply into seeing if whatever that is tormenting us in the moment is good,right and will bring us any happiness or peace!
Will we want to be trapped by its toxicity and continue to do harm to ourselves and others.
Yes sometimes affictions can very powerful energies to disarm and deal with…..all we need is not be hard, judgmental and critical or even think we deserve more punishment on top of the already tumultous state we are experiencing.We need the Light of awareness to mitigate suffering,ignorance and harmful tendencies in the face of torments.
Once, while still early on the path of spiritual awakening,I was overcome with strong temptation to drive to the Virgin Records store in downtown Vancouver to spend money on music cds.At that time the danger was because I was financially broke without a job yet.I love music and the urge to get new cds of latest releases was playing on my mind so strongly to go get them.I already had a huge collection of cds and vinyl LP records.The desire was so strong, I drove down to Virgin Records and felt like a kid in a candy store.So I went from station to station listening to every music sample that was on display.Not only listening was enough, I was lost in self-control and was picking up every cd that I enjoyed.Before I knew it, I had over 20 pieces of cds in the basket! I remember feeling very elated and excited about going home to listen to each one.I was on my way to the cashier,when I stopped and became aware of what I had in my hand.I watched and observed myself at that moment and came to a honest realization of what I was doing.I was feeding into my desires.I thought I could walk out of the store with perhaps two cds by then,but as I slowly returned each cd to its respective counter,I walked out of the store empty-handed.I felt good about my strength,the courage to let go,to be aware of what I was about to do and the harmful consequences that would arise….I would be depleting wasteful money on my already almost empty bank account.The relieve that I had from pausing to watch myself and becoming aware of consequences brought on peace instead of more mental and emotional chaos.
It is not to say that all afflictions will be eradicated in a jiffy,with constant practice of observing, watching the self,the mind and its intentions, we can come to slowly remove unnecessary sufferings.Every single time we think we have failed or have lost control and gave in to any affliction, we can practice self-compassion and tenderness for our faults and not be punitive or harsh towards ourselves.In time,healing takes place,when we make every effort to start again.Slowly the afflictive energy loses its grip and strength upon the self!
Very often we forget that we have a Wise,Loving,Courageous,Creative and Joyful Heart to enjoy silent company with.We tend to give so much attention to everything outside of ourselves.
We go about our lives mostly listening and living up to the voices that spread beliefs,ideologies,opinions,fear,judgements,criticism and cynicism, terror,divisiveness,expectations,power and control and false notions of achieving lasting happiness and pleasures.
The mind wavers with confusions,uncertainties and agitation,restlessness,anguish,torments,anxieties….then we wonder why we are so disturbed and unhappy again and again eventhough we may have had a good time doing something pleasurable or enjoyable.
The mind must be calmed and stilled in order for the Heart to be fully opened to act in joyful,peaceful,loving engagements…
To Begin the Brave UnknownIn order for true spiritual growth to be effective and be inculcated,the self must be onward and forward with sincere, fearless and selfless actions and practises to living out,facing and experiencing all manner of life’s lessons as it arises without putting barriers, limitations and conditions on all phenomenon, so that the wise heart can exercise true understanding and knowledge.As I stood at the door of the church of St.Paul’s Richmond BC, in 1998,like a beggar begging for mercy and forgiveness, I knew within the depths of my heart I was ready and willing to put aside all my worldly egoic selfish habituated beliefs of all sorts in order to open my mind and heart to learn the ways of healing.I was willing to be opened to a new life and new birth to anything that might help me end unnecessary suffering. Although I did not know what or how am I to proceed along this new route,the main thing was taking the first step to be humbled and with sincere and right intention of letting go of all false beliefs and the need to hold and control things that have already gone out of control…I surrendered and took courage to allow myself to walk thru the door of the unknown……………….