We have fearfully allowed the unawake, the limited,selfish and conditioned self have dominance and control in our lives that we have neglected and forgotten to courageously open the pathway into the Heart and set True Love to flourish.Thus we are confused as to which to abide with.
In true wisdom of caring for oneself,is when we begin to ‘wake up’to question our human existence and purpose,when we can put forth this question…”who am I truly?” .
It is when we start to become conscious of our participation in all actions of living and ask truly….”what am I learning/gaining from doing what I am doing?”Caring for oneself becomes authentic when we start taking an interest in self-inquiry,moving slowly away from people,things and situations that no longer fulfill inner satisfaction,human growth and spiritual maturity.
To care is when we begin the need for quiet restful time and space,when we seek out knowledge from teachers of truth and search for answers that have been buried too deep within the self.To truly care for ourselves is when we make an effort to be truthful in saying that we don’t know what we are looking for but yet giving ourselves a chance to do something extra-ordinary, different,courageous,motivational and radical(sweetly shocking to others) apart from everyday mundane,customary,unfavourable, irrelevent(addictive)actions.
It is a time when we give ourselves top-priority to witness selflessness in the true act of wisdom.It is a moment when we realize we want to be a ‘better’ human in order to acknowledge our sufferings and not want to be a burden to oneself and others(not especially so to those we say we care for).
We may feel strongly about not loving ourselves or being hardened,bitter,angry,jealous,greedy,selfish,too addicted to various activities and feel that we don’t deserve to care for ourselves and so we justify our recklessness and negligences.We tell ourselves that we cannot change,we rather continue living the life we are so used to(unhappily,disharmoniously?)…but in truth NOW IS THE TIME to Care!And as humans with innate beauteous treasures Within,we CAN be awake and we can start NOW!
This caring could be going on a short retreat(organized or solo,if permitted due to covid restrictions),Joining a group counselling session(via zoom or alone with a therapist),AA/addictions associations,to be open to a spiritual group.
To be inspired to volunteer to give your time and heart in a animal shelter, a soup kitchen,food bank,any ministry in need of help that speaks to your heart’s call.
To go to the library/bookshops and be open to read self-help/spiritual books,listen to audio/visuals on teachings that speak of working with the human awakening processes/truth/wisdom.
Importantly to strive to become more honest with oneself in cultivating and practiciing kindly and humane conditions for oneself and those around us.
If we do not Care for ourselves,who can,who will?If the others are seeing that we do not care for ourselves,what impressions/teachings are we implying to them?For if we do not care for ourselves,can we say we care for others,can we say we want peace and happiness,can we be the spark to light the torch of Peace and Compassion for humanity?
“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.”
~~~~~ Rumi,13th century Persian Poet and Sufi mystic ~~~~
Before my radical spiritual awakening in 1998,I was ignorant and in a continuous fight against the world,against everyone else who did not understand me or whatever that I was going through(pain and suffering,inner struggles and depression etc.).Yes, I was foolish to think that the world(others) must change to suit my needs,my selfish desires and to comfort me and my pains.At that time I was ‘unconscious’ to all the suffering that I was being plagued with.So all the more I defended and resisted and fought to have others pay attention to me and my ways of painful living conditions.In negligent selfishness,I wanted the others to change for me! I was ignorant to believe that the world would give me peace and ‘happiness’.Matter of fact, I did come to ‘hate’being in this world and that drove me to face even more disastrous consequences.Did I gain anything worthwhile by resisting, defending,being in denial,hitting out and desiring more and more from the world and others to change for me?NO! and it Never Will!
What I truly learned and gained was that I and only I had the power within to change myself,to make the effort and work full-heartedly to create the happiness,peace and loving/kindly conditions that I so expected and wanted the world to hand to me on a golden platter.I realized that all that I wanted was already innate Within me,waiting/beckoning within each and every human being.All that I had to do was to turn around and Face myself instead of looking out at the others,at the disturbances/enticements of the world.I had to undertake the journey/adventure of looking deeply,courageously and honestly at all the hindrances(fears, guilt,shame,hatred,jealousy,selfishness,desires,cravings,ignorance,attachments and afflictions,etc.) that I had built up blocking the path directly into the core/inner realm of my being.In other words,we pay attention to ourselves,not in a narcissistic way but a conscious/selfless way into healing and self-development to benefit oneself and others!
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When the mind is tired and busy with worries and anxieties and too much unnecessary unpleasant ‘story-telling’…….sit quietly in your own reverent presence,pay attention to the heart and bring it out into the open and it will speak of comfort and tenderness and loving, gentle resonance….listen to it,trust it and become it.In order to end unnecessary suffering,the mind must be disciplined on how to be silent/still and the heart to be unafraid to be left unprotected and opened so to allow all things to be.
When we fight,encourage resentments,argue and be defensive with Life, it is like foolishly wanting to swim against the strongest of current.But when we allow ourselves to flow with the current(letting go of all attachments and clinging),we glide swiftly to become One with the great ocean, with the Universal Consciousness.
There was a time in ancient India when a man was told to go to King Janaka for help with letting go of his ego(the limited and self-centred entity).King Janaka was known for his wisdom and courage,he was suppose to be an enlightened being.
When the man entered the garden,he found King Janaka whose both arms folded around each other as though holding on tightly to a branch of a tree.So the man approached the king and said,you are Janaka, a wise king,I want your help to discard the ego.
The king answered,I will answer your question when the branch lets me go!
The man replied,but the branch is not holding you,you are holding on to the branch!
Janaka responded,you are in the same situation,it is you who are holding on to your ego,you have made ego your friend and are afraid of letting it go.Now all you have to do is let go of it and you will be Free!
It is the same in our lives, we are holding on to people,things and situations that have no use in serving a higher fulfilling purpose,that does not empower or encourage us on the sacred journey of life.The truth if we dare see it,we are being drained of energy,induced with depression(joylessness) and lethargy because of wasteful desires,clinging on and attaching ourselves to so called dead branches!We can reflect on this and try to find a deeper meaning of our lives.
A true teacher will take one Into reality and not away from reality. Even our so called enemies can teach us the way into the Truth!
There was a special time,a time when my friend Doug and I walked with our hearts on the streets of ‘dangerous’ Downtown East side Vancouver,British Columbia,Canada,spiritually befriending the downtrodden,outcasts of society,prostitutes and drug addicts.I never felt threatened or unsafe or repulsed by the ‘dark activities’going on in that area.Who am I to judge or think that I was a ‘hero’trying to save them.NO! I was not there trying to play saviour or speak of a God or spread religiosity to try to convert them.
I was in fact there to learn from them,to be challenged in real-life learning lessons ……to break my heart open to the terrorizing,painful suffering that I relate with them in a different scenario.Humility was the biggest lesson I had to cherish as it was not easy sometimes to be hurled with obscenities and with their rough,crude and toughened mannerisms.I learned to love sincerely, to hold them, to accept them in whatever state they were in,to laugh and cry and share with them and kiss them and wipe away their tears,allow their tears to flow on my jacket/shirt.Most of them are infected with the Aids/Hiv virus and were scarred with sores and visible infected marks on their bodies.It could be very unsightly to look at,I never saw it as a hindrance to be with them.To look into their eyes and tell them that they are loved and not to be afraid.It was a joyful,fulfilling time when they would run and rush forward to be hugged and held and smiled at,there was a tiny one(Doug and I would call her little Ashu) who simply liked jumping on my back like a little monkey.
There were also disheartening times when they would shun,deny and reject any form of kindly contact.
Despite the subtle chaotic,harmful violence being visibly witnessed through the self inflicted suffering these people are causing to themselves(by way of openly shooting up,overdosing,dealing in drugs,watching the johns and ladies engaging in bargaining for sexual favours,yelling and screaming profanities,the frequent sounds of screeching,deafening ambulance/police sirens) ;I walked through the streets in peaceful and loving expression not of or for their activities but in compassion for their pain and ignorant/wasteful suffering.From witnessing these painful states, I was gaining access into my own self-created and unnecessary sufferings and vowed to purify myself of misery.Suffering helps us to look into suffering and then its up to us to want healing for it.
Once Doug,who remains a dear friend till today,invited his friend a priest(Fr.River) from Seattle,USA to join us in walking on the streets.While walking Fr.River suggested that we have a celebration of Mass right there out on the streets.Both Doug and I were joyous at the idea!So we stopped in front of a McDonald’s fast food joint and bought whatever we could to use,bread for communion host,probably pop in paper cups as wine and we spread paper napkins on the ‘dirty’floor.We sat on the floor in peaceful reverence for that sacred ceremony while chaos was going on right there around us.We gently invited the people on the streets to come join in if they liked to.To our surprise,some did respectfully sit with us to celebrate that lovely,lovely time of meaningful celebration of love on the streets.Fr.River showed courage,sincere fearlessness flexibility,spontaneity,humility,kindness and a true healing/sharing and peaceful spirit in the face of subtle violence and confusion.
As I look at this experience, I envision what the historical Jesus Christ would have done in his time and era as he was going about teaching, sharing and projecting peacefulness in the time of hatred,strife and anger over the Roman rule of his country Jerusalem.Despite violence and plotting against the Romans(Romans against the Jews and vice versa), Jesus taught compassion,charity, kindness,forgiveness and peaceful resolutions…..he taught only to look Within the Self to find the ‘Kingdom of Heaven in there’He did not bother with the chaos going on nor did he encourage anger and hatred.He invited people to find healing within themselves.
So what can we learn from this……do we get influenced by the turmoil going on in the present day world or do we find peace and love and compassion to offer to the pain of the world?
“Humility is a sublime virtue
It can bend before the mighty wind
yet arise with courage.
it can bow before a powerful sovereign,
yet remain his equal.
It can be intimidated by the unjust,
yet not be humiliated.
It can be gentle before injury
yet have the strength to forgive.
humility brings the antidote to pride and arrogance and allows the openness to learn and accept!”
Here is a preview and glimpse of having an understanding into what this heartfelt spiritually surrendered book might be about.Thank you for your time and support.Feel free to share if you like.
the compassionate experience 