Tag: spiritual experiences

To know the Truth

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To live in Truth means to live free in the wakefulness of loving consciousness.We live in truth so we do not fool others or be fooled by others…we are free to be ourselves,matured to take responsibilities,to not live on whims and fantasies and importatnly to be Present and unafraid to face all that life opens out for us.We thus are not living fearfully,afraid of jumping hurdles and fear about what others think, feel,threaten or influence us negatively.

Living in truth opens the path of not being fearful of losses and attachments.Living the truth wipes the falsehood of having to pretend to be/act/project something we are not,to live a lie,to deny access of authencity,to have to constantly defend and protect the deceiving ego.Therefore to know the truth,we have to live in Truth!

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Faith as small as a mustard seed

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Upon immediate arrival back in Vancouver from Saudi Arabia in November 1998,I went to live temporarily at my mother’s small apartment while she was away.One night in utter despair,fearful and lamenting of my brokenness and helplessness,I turned on the TV,a Christian evangelical program came on offering prayers to anyone who needed it to call the number on the screen.Without hesitation, I called in to ask for prayers.In less than a week,a package arrived(November 16th 1998) from Evangelist Peter Popoff with detailed instructions of what to do with the contents of the package.

There was a small sachet filled with so called ‘holy water’from the Jordan river in Israel.I was asked to pour the water on my head before going to bed that very same night of receivng the package.I was told to put a Bible if I had one under my pillow and to sleep on it and that I will have a dream following all instructions as directed.I was happy to find a Bible on my mother’s bedside table(it was good to know that she kept one always beside her).So I did as all as I was told to do with a child-like simplicity, trust and fervour without any expectations,but probably out of desperation and urgency of my sorry state.

I did have a dream that same night of hearing a voice repeatedly telling me,”have faith as small as a mustard seed.”I got up with a sense of joyful relief!

Then I questioned myself,how can I have faith when everything around and within me have fallen apart.I have lost everything,jobless,financially empty and in big debts,physically gripped in ill-health, mentally/emotionally broken, depressed.I saw myself like a jig-saw puzzle with all the pieces strewn all over the place…where do I begin to pick each piece and be whole again?

FAITH was the key word,to be motivated and deeply convinced,to trust by fearlessness and the drive to do something noble and true,so I knew a place where I would go to find refuge….an empty quiet church!

November the 17th,a significant day…..I arrived at St.Paul’s church,Richmond,BC.standing outside at the main door feeling like an ‘escaped criminal’,I humbly surrendered myself willing to accept anything that I would have to face.I subjected myself to the great unknown as I wanted so badly to quench and feed my parched soul in need of Spiritual food/drink.I came out of church that day to face a different direction,A New Spiritual Beginning…the process of letting go,of dying to my old self and ego,the burning down of a dilapidated house,like the snake shedding its dead skin.For the first time, I was starting to embrace myself and feel the tenderness for all my regrets, mistakes,wasteful/unnecessary sufferings and flaws that I was now witnessing within myself Truthfully!

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Releasing the Ego

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There was a time in ancient India when a man was told to go to King Janaka for help with letting go of his ego(the limited and self-centred entity).King Janaka was known for his wisdom and courage,he was suppose to be an enlightened being.

When the man entered the garden,he found King Janaka whose both arms folded around each other as though holding on tightly to a branch of a tree.So the man approached the king and said,you are Janaka, a wise king,I want your help to discard the ego.

The king answered,I will answer your question when the branch lets me go!

The man replied,but the branch is not holding you,you are holding on to the branch!

Janaka responded,you are in the same situation,it is you who are holding on to your ego,you have made ego your friend and are afraid of letting it go.Now all you have to do is let go of it and you will be Free!

It is the same in our lives, we are holding on to people,things and situations that have no use in serving a higher fulfilling purpose,that does not empower or encourage us on the sacred journey of life.The truth if we dare see it,we are being drained of energy,induced with depression(joylessness) and lethargy because of wasteful desires,clinging on and attaching ourselves to so called dead branches!We can reflect on this and try to find a deeper meaning of our lives.

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To Love Thyself

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I saw a posting which says…”I just want to Love myself…again”. And what a true,honest and wise declaration and acknowledgment.And this is a silent unconscious aspiration of all beings.This wish to love oneself can come in the form of a longing to be loved,to want to love someone(sometimes obsessively),hankering for happiness and satisfaction in life,searching for something unknown,a feeling of empty,meaningless existence,the joylessness of depression,jealousy and selfishness.Even a deep sense of joyous delight and pleasure can evoke a desire of wanting to love oneself.

We often hear words telling us to pray, love,to forgive, to do good, to be kind,to be happy, to be nice and pleasing,to not hurt,to not worry,to not think too much,to be happy.Then we tell ourselves,we already love,we are happy,we don’t care what others are doing, we are not doing anything bad,we are nice and please others too much,we are the ones who are hurt,we say that we are not thinking too much or worrying,etc.In other words we play victim of denial,defence and demand/expecting love from external sources.The ‘call’to come home into the core of our being is happening every moment of our lives,non-stop!

How are we to hear its still,quiet voice when we are busy looking externally for love,craving attention(to be liked and to feel significant) and being seduced by a myriad of worldly attractions in all sorts of forms/ways.The world tells us to be kept busy with muti-tasking.We are disturbed by people and situations and get caught playing ignorant games of the mind.We become identified with running constant negative commentaries in the already tired mind.So we believe whatever the busy and negative mind is chattering/nattering to us…and it mostly makes us feel bad/harsh of ourselves.The mind keeps us outside of ourselves,it prevents the entry Within the self into the Heart(home is where the heart is,where love lives).

On the other hand when we practice and learn to tame,calm and quiet the mind,it becomes our guide and provides the ‘ladder’down into the Heart(True Self)…..where we will be empowered, embraced and engulfed with Joy,Wisdom and Compassion,thus we come to know/meet Love(God) and will love ourselves/others unconditionally.The unconscious ‘war’ within the self is ended,Truth is revealed…….we come to the True state of Conscious Living!Are we willing and courageous to sit by ourselves,to face whatever Truth about ourselves(guilts,shames,fears and flaws,goodness and kindness,etc.)in order to let it all go and Be who we already are….Love itself!

When the mind is silenced,the Heart speaks!

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Overwhelming Afflictions

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When we are overwhelmed by disturbing strong affictive emotions such as jealousy,fearfulness,anger,hatred and addictive instigation,we can always practice the mindfulness to pause and be honest,to ponder and take a look deeply into seeing if whatever that is tormenting us in the moment is good,right and will bring us any happiness or peace!

Will we want to be trapped by its toxicity and continue to do harm to ourselves and others.

Yes sometimes affictions can very powerful energies to disarm and deal with…..all we need is not be hard, judgmental and critical or even think we deserve more punishment on top of the already tumultous state we are experiencing.We need the Light of awareness to mitigate suffering,ignorance and harmful tendencies in the face of torments.

Once, while still early on the path of spiritual awakening,I was overcome with strong temptation to drive to the Virgin Records store in downtown Vancouver to spend money on music cds.At that time the danger was because I was financially broke without a job yet.I love music and the urge to get new cds of latest releases was playing on my mind so strongly to go get them.I already had a huge collection of cds and vinyl LP records.The desire was so strong, I drove down to Virgin Records and felt like a kid in a candy store.So I went from station to station listening to every music sample that was on display.Not only listening was enough, I was lost in self-control and was picking up every cd that I enjoyed.Before I knew it, I had over 20 pieces of cds in the basket! I remember feeling very elated and excited about going home to listen to each one.I was on my way to the cashier,when I stopped and became aware of what I had in my hand.I watched and observed myself at that moment and came to a honest realization of what I was doing.I was feeding into my desires.I thought I could walk out of the store with perhaps two cds by then,but as I slowly returned each cd to its respective counter,I walked out of the store empty-handed.I felt good about my strength,the courage to let go,to be aware of what I was about to do and the harmful consequences that would arise….I would be depleting wasteful money on my already almost empty bank account.The relieve that I had from pausing to watch myself and becoming aware of consequences brought on peace instead of more mental and emotional chaos.

It is not to say that all afflictions will be eradicated in a jiffy,with constant practice of observing, watching the self,the mind and its intentions, we can come to slowly remove unnecessary sufferings.Every single time we think we have failed or have lost control and gave in to any affliction, we can practice self-compassion and tenderness for our faults and not be punitive or harsh towards ourselves.In time,healing takes place,when we make every effort to start again.Slowly the afflictive energy loses its grip and strength upon the self!

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Be in the Company of the Heart

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Very often we forget that we have a Wise,Loving,Courageous,Creative and Joyful Heart to enjoy silent company with.We tend to give so much attention to everything outside of ourselves.

We go about our lives mostly listening and living up to the voices that spread beliefs,ideologies,opinions,fear,judgements,criticism and cynicism, terror,divisiveness,expectations,power and control and false notions of achieving lasting happiness and pleasures.

The mind wavers with confusions,uncertainties and agitation,restlessness,anguish,torments,anxieties….then we wonder why we are so disturbed and unhappy again and again eventhough we may have had a good time doing something pleasurable or enjoyable.

The mind must be calmed and stilled in order for the Heart to be fully opened to act in joyful,peaceful,loving engagements…

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To Begin the Brave Unknown

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To Begin the Brave UnknownIn order for true spiritual growth to be effective and be inculcated,the self must be onward and forward with sincere, fearless and selfless actions and practises to living out,facing and experiencing all manner of life’s lessons as it arises without putting barriers, limitations and conditions on all phenomenon, so that the wise heart can exercise true understanding and knowledge.As I stood at the door of the church of St.Paul’s Richmond BC, in 1998,like a beggar begging for mercy and forgiveness, I knew within the depths of my heart I was ready and willing to put aside all my worldly egoic selfish habituated beliefs of all sorts in order to open my mind and heart to learn the ways of healing.I was willing to be opened to a new life and new birth to anything that might help me end unnecessary suffering. Although I did not know what or how am I to proceed along this new route,the main thing was taking the first step to be humbled and with sincere and right intention of letting go of all false beliefs and the need to hold and control things that have already gone out of control…I surrendered and took courage to allow myself to walk thru the door of the unknown……………….

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