Most of us have heard this saying…’ignorance is bliss’.It can also mean to be oblivious to be open to the Truth.We tend to be afraid of knowing what is true,the truth that we keep hidden within the recesses of our being,we can call this our ‘dark secrets’.Playing ignorant and pretentious of our lives,this help protect our ‘cushy’lifestyle and keep us safe in our comfort-zones,of people and things and situations we are used to surrounding ourselves with.Most often,these comfort-zones that we hoard no longer serve us meaningfully or give us purposeful living,yet we go on wasting energy pretending to enjoy and be seemingly happy with our lives on the surface.In truth, the undercurrent within us is in turmoil and disturbed.
We need answers,we need comfort,we need knowledge,a direction,a guidance to the truth of our purpose in Life.Yet we dismiss and ignore the very very quiet nudging that beckons us to take stock,to halt and listen,to pay attention,to relax and care for our true needs.We are in truth succumbing to the fear of losses, rejection,more pain and enduring suffering,of changes,of being ridiculed and taunted and of the mysterious Unknown!And there is also the fact and difficult task of ‘how to begin and what to do!’
I faced these dilemmas most of my adult life, knowing quietly that I was intensely suffering,yet not knowing how to deal with it,what to do with the truth of my suffering.The more I struggled with suffering,the more it seemed to follow me and caused me more anger and hatred of myself.I was in fact truly ignorantly looking for love,to be loved and to love!I didn’t realize at the time that Love was already within me and this separation and ignorance caused so more much pain and suffering.How did I begin the waking up to truth?I had to acknowledge and admit firstly that I was indeed suffering and trying hard to suppress its gravity and being dangerous to myself and others.Here being dangerous means that as we unconsciously suffer needlessly,we impose our pain upon others either unknowingly or deliberately to cause suffering in ways of worries, anxieties and distress or even by drastic measures in ways of violence,mental,emotional,sexual abuses and insanity.I had to sincerely surrender the ignorance and seek the help needed to be freed from pain and suffering. I went fervently on a daily basis to sit in reflection of my life in a quiet church and pour my heartaches and foolishness into the unknown.And as I sat, I realized I was delving deeply into my being,witnessing the truth of myself.This endeavour became the start of meditation practices…a true Love affair with myself.This sublime process drew me deeper into myself,seeing all my imperfections, flaws,mistakes,hidden ‘dark secrets’as well as goodness.Instead of judging and churning negative criticism of myself……I started opening up to compassion and forgiveness of myself.Tears flowed profusely in remorse and shame and of knee high buried guilt.All I could do was embrace myself in totality of the truth,freeing/releasing myself of denials and holding on to toxic afflicted energies.
As I meditated,I loved myself for the courage and the truth that I was able to face.And this truth in return sets us all free from unnecessary/wasteful suffering.